


When Words Fail, Your Eyes Speak

by enigmatic_vagabond



Category: Midyears, NaMon - Fandom, Nanon-Chimon
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Deaf!Chimon, Disability, Dyslexic!Nanon, M/M, Namon, mental health, slow-burn, stigma - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmatic_vagabond/pseuds/enigmatic_vagabond
Summary: A story about Nanon, a dyslexic photographer, who befriends a deaf writer at his father’s photojournalism class, he then struggles to find the right words for him, hopefully when his words fail, his eyes will speak.
Relationships: Nanon Korapat Kirdpan/Chimon Wachirawit Ruangwiwat
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm actually reluctant in publishing this because it contains sensitive issues like deafness and dyslexia, and I am afraid if I didn't capture the true and real essence of a person with these kinds of challenges. I know that I wrote the word "disability/disabilities" in my short story, and for that, I am sorry, sincerely. Another thing is if ever you find this short story very offensive because of the plot and how I wrote Nanon and Chimon's character, please feel free to message me and I could delete this. This prompt was so hard to write especially since I am not deaf and dyslexic so I can't really write from a point of view of the main narrator of this story which is Nanon. But I tried my best in writing this, I just hope you find this beautiful despite the overly fast-paced plot.
> 
> Disclaimer: All underlined conversations are signed, meaning they are spoken by deaf people using ALS.

The thought of having dyslexia doesn’t bother me at all. I’m still normal like everyone else, but yeah, I can’t read. It just sucks that when I have to order my food and I have to read the menu, I always squint my eyes to scramble the words in front of me to form a word. “Can I have the, uh, the second one?” I gave the cashier a forced smile. She was looking like I didn’t know what was written all over the menu. “Do you want the burgers with fries combo?” She asks me and I simply nodded. No point of arguing, besides burger and fries for lunch seems like a great idea.

I’ve been enrolled in this school where they cater and teach dyslexic people like me. Probably when I was five years old, my dads were worried that I can’t read any of the children’s books they got me, so they asked their friend who married a pediatrician if they could check on me. Lo and behold, I was diagnosed with dyslexia! “I’m jealous that you could eat whatever you want,” Jane told me when I seated at our table. “My mom always nags me about eating salad to maintain my weight and figure.” She forked the tomato in her salad and ate it. “Well, my dads always tell me to eat whatever I want so long as I keep watch on what I am eating.” Jane looks at me with a confused look. “Nanon, you’re literally eating burgers and fries every day for lunch.” She sips on her cold, brewed tea. “Where’s Ohm?” She asks me. I pointed him at the counter still reading the menu. “Go and help him!” Jane told me as I was busy enjoying my burger.

“What’s up buddy?” I asked Ohm who was still reading the menu. The three of us have dyslexia and are going to the same school. We’ve been friends for almost a decade so they are no secrets hidden in this little dyslexic group. “Can he get the fried chicken and burger combo?” I told the cashier who was already impatient with Ohm. The line behind him was long that they went to the other counters. “Next time before you order, think first.” Says the lady behind us, who rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to say sorry for having dyslexia, ma’am. But what I want to say is, stop with that rude attitude and just order your food.” I gave her a dimpled smile and Ohm and I walked away from the counter.

“Finally! It took you years to order food.” Jane teases Ohm. “That lady on the counter just told us to think first before ordering.” Ohm was busy eating his chicken while Jane and I talked. “Don’t mind them. Besides, they don’t know the feeling of being dyslexic.” Jane closed her lunch box and sipped her tea. It’s difficult to have dyslexia; it’s like reading something you can’t comprehend. Like there’s a “No Entry” sign just in front of you but you enter anyway. Or for some instance “Debris Falling” and you looked at it trying to decipher a code in a second. Basically, it’s hard to follow instructions and the fact that we have dyslexia together; we look like three idiots tilting our heads to the side to read everything we see.

“My dad wants me to go home early this afternoon,” I told them while drinking mg cola. “Why? Did you do something again?” Ohm teased me. “No, I didn’t do anything. He told me to help him in his photojournalism class this Saturday.” My phone vibrated and I took it out. “See, speak of the devil.” I read my dad’s message and replied. “Anyways, I don’t feel like going to classes this afternoon.” Ohm’s face lit up. “Ooh, actually me too, I was tired listening to Miss Godji talk about phonetics.” Ohm stretched and Jane rolled her eyes. “Ok, but this time only, after that, we’re not going to cut class anymore.” Jane took out her makeup and put on blush and lipstick. “Jane, we’re going to an arcade, not on a blind date.” Jane chuckles. “Oh, Nanon. I just want to be pretty everywhere I go.” She pouted and stood from her chair. “Let’s go?” Ohm followed suit and so was I.

“It’s been years since we went there!” Ohm excitedly squeals. The Humbo-Jumbo Arcade was popular when we were kids; it was full of arcade games from Marvel vs Capcom, Tekken Games, Mario Games, and all sorts of video games. Of course, Jane went to the Just Dance corner to show off her dancing skills. I went to the Guitar Hero section while Ohm played basketball. Sometimes, people think that having dyslexia means we’re below normal, but that’s a misconception about us. Although we can’t read we still have high functioning brains. Jane is always at the top of our class and Ohm and I are passing our classes too.

As I was playing guitar hero, I felt Ohm’s arms in my shoulder. “Wait, I’m not yet done. It’s the chorus already.” I told him without looking back. I was so focused on the game. “Uhm, Nanon,” Ohm spoke. “I said wait, I’m just going to finish this before we head to the school.” Jane coughs beside me, and on my left side, Ohm appeared in my peripheral vision. Now, whose hand is in my shoulder? I turned around and it’s my dad. “Nanon Korapat Techaaphaikun-Vihokratana, what are you doing here instead of going to school?” Although my dad is wearing his glasses, I can see his eyes glaring at my soul.

“And the both of you, don’t give in to Nanon’s whims and suggestions, okay?” My dad lectured Jane and Ohm. “Yes, Mr. Tawan.” They said in unison. My dad then drove us to school. “Oh, no young man, you’re going home with me now.” He locks the door and my friends went out and waved goodbye to me. I saw Jane mouthed “good luck” to me as if I’m getting the biggest punishment in my life.

As soon as we arrived home, my other dad was waiting for us in the kitchen. He was baking cupcakes for us. “Where did you go?” My dad signed. “He cut his class and they went to the arcade to play,” Dad answers him. “I told you not to cut classes.” He signed again. “I’m sorry; I was just stressed this morning.” I sat at one of the kitchen chairs, I was about to get one cupcake when dad slapped my hand. “Aww. I just want one.” He turned his back to open the oven, he grabs the tin and set it on the table. “I still have to frost it, besides go talk to your dad about cutting classes.” Although dad can sign fast I can still understand what he is saying. My dad lost his hearing gradually when he met my other dad, his hearing was still intact but when they started dating and eventually got married, daddy New lost his hearing. He can still talk but he prefers signing when talking to us. “I said I was already sorry.” I sign back. “I know, but you know your dad, he’s a little grumpy and strict.” He talked and smiled at me while frosting the cupcakes he baked.

I went to my dad’s workroom so I could talk properly with him. “Dad, I said I was sorry.” I sat at the couch facing him. “Please don’t cut my allowance in half.” I pouted so I could save my money from getting cut. “No, I won’t cut your allowance in half, but Nanon please, you have dyslexia,” Oh god, here we go again. “You might get hurt; I’m just worried about you.” Dad opens his camera and connects it to his laptop. “Dad I am not a liability to myself or to others.” I think my voice just went up. “Why do you guys keep thinking that I could get hurt?” I sighed deeply. “I can handle myself, yes, I can’t read but I can certainly handle my life.” My voice started to break. “I know but—.” But before dad can finish what he was about to say, I stormed out from his workroom and headed to my room.

It’s always been like this, they always think that my dyslexia would kill me. Yes, I can’t read signs but I am not that dumb to not ask people about what is written on that particular sign. “I can manage myself,” I whispered to myself as I lie on my bed. After I changed, someone knocked on my door. “Come in.” There was no response; I knew it was my dad New. I opened the door and let him in my room. “Did you two fight again?” He signed and sat on my swivel chair. I nodded. “Nanon, your father is worried about you.” Thank you for stating the obvious dad. “I know, but I hate how it’s becoming too controlling.” I signed.

“When I lost my hearing, I almost got into an accident.” He talked and I don’t know about this. “We were at a museum one day and I forgot to wear my hearing aids.” He turned to me. “That was when we were expecting you from our surrogate mother. She was already eight months pregnant with you.” He stood and sat beside me in my bed. “I was wandering around when I noticed that Tay was not beside me anymore,” Dad held my hand. “Then one thing led to another, the bolts and frames of the skeleton of a dinosaur overhanging at the museum suddenly broke and it almost fell on me.” He took a deep breath. “I felt chills on my body and Tay was standing in front of me already, although I can’t hear him, I felt that he was crying.” Dad looked at me. “So if ever, dad is worried about you, don’t blame him okay? He just loves us both.” He hugged me and kissed my head.

"I’m sorry, ” I told him. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say sorry to me.” He broke the hug and wiped my tears. “Tay wants to have some fun time with you also. He wants you to go with him to his classes.” Dad smiled at me and walked near the door. “If you want to help him, just go to him and tell him, okay?” I nodded and he closed the door.

I never knew about how dad almost lost dad at the museum, and maybe he’s just looking out for me because both dad and I have disabilities. I knocked at my dad’s workroom. “Dad, I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” He stood from his chair and hugged me. “No, don’t be sorry, I was too controlling.” His voice started breaking. “But, I know where you are coming from and I think I understand now.” I gave my dad an understanding smile. “Anyways, dad told me about the photojournalism class.” Dad New appeared from the hallway and gave us a thumbs up. “Oh, he told you about it?” I nodded. “What are you two talking about?” Dad signed. “Nothing, Hin” And dad ran towards us and attacked dad. “Oh god, get a room please.” I laughed as they were enjoying their company together. Maybe dad Tay was just looking out for me like what dad New told me and maybe something never changed in this family, that whenever I can’t read and my dad can’t hear, it’s always the eyes that speak.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dad, do I have to sit in your class while you teach them? Can I just stand by at your office?” I asked my father as he parked the car. “No, you need to come with me in class, besides maybe you can learn something from me about photography since it is your hobby.” He turned off the car engine and got out of the car and I followed him. “What if I become out of place? I’m sure some of your students have already got along and then there’s me alone.” I tried convincing my dad but he kept ignoring me.

We reached the classroom and there are only five students there. “Only five students?” I whispered to my dad and he nodded. “Good Morning, class.” Dad gave a huge smile to his students. “Just sit at the back and listen.” I walked to the back of the class and sat quietly as dad started teaching. Today is Friday, and I don’t have classes. My school only offers Monday to Thursday classes and we have a different curriculum since most of us have reading disabilities.

“Oh yeah, so everyone, meet my son, Nanon.” Dad introduced me to his students and told me to stand up so they could recognize me. But someone from the class did not turn back. He was just looking at the board in front of him. I saw dad sign something to him and he looked at me with a poker face. “Are you deaf?” I signed and he avoided my question. _What a snob._

My dad teaches photojournalism in his class, apparently, two of them are photographers and the three are writers. Dad was explaining about the process of telling a story using the medium of photography as your main storytelling device. He flashed on the screen some examples of photojournalism. I was looking at the pictures in my camera, dad New bought me for Christmas and I have been harnessing my skill in photography. Maybe that is why dad wanted me to come with him. “Nanon, can you please come here.” Dad motioned me to go to the front. “Ok, so Nanon here is a photographer and my son is dyslexic.” Oh god, why must dad tell that to his student? Someone raised his hand. “What is that?” Oh, god, don’t make us explain my disability.

“It means he can’t read words, they see gibberish when they look at sentences.” The deaf student spoke. “I thought you can’t hear us.” Dad signed to him. “I can’t hear you Sir but I can definitely read mouths.” Dad is amused about this particular student of his. “Oh, okay, sure. Nanon, you will be paired with Chimon.” _Chimon._ So that’s his name. I sat beside him and introduced myself. “So are you really deaf since birth?” I signed. “No, I gradually lost mine.” Oh just like dad New. “How long have you been here?” I initiated the conversation. “A month already, my dad wants me to continue writing.” He spoke after he read my sign language. “Do you not use hearing aids?” I asked him and he shook his head. “I don’t want people to know I am deaf.” He answered me with no energy at all. “And I don’t want to wear hearing aids; they make me look like I’m different from others.” I tried understanding him but somehow I can’t.

Dad continued teaching us about photojournalism and he handed them their assignment for the week. “Nanon, can you pair up with Chimon? The class is not balanced right now, and we need one more photographer.” Dad gave me a smile and I can’t say no to him, since he is my dad and he gives me allowance, so saying no is like saying no to money. _Ugh._ “You go to school here?” He initiated the conversation. That’s a start. “Yeah, I go to a school for dyslexic people.” I smiled while signing to him. “You don’t have to sign all the time you know, I can read your mouth, just talks slowly.” He told me but it’s awkward for me. I have seen my dads talk to each other and dad New looks like he wants to kiss dad Tay’s lips, whenever he’s reading his mouth. “Oh sure,” I replied.

“The assignment will be passed next week, so you could start it anytime.” My dad finished his lecture in two hours. “Wait your class is done?” I asked him as we walk to his office. “Yeah, I only teach for two hours.” He opened the door to his office and I lay on the couch. “So every Fridays and Saturdays, you come here to teach students about photojournalism for only two hours?” I reiterated what he just said and he nodded. “And what do you do for the next few hours before going home?” He looked at me and showed me pictures of teddy bears. “Ok, so what will your father like?” I facepalmed myself because this is embarrassing. My dads are still mushy to each other and honestly, I want what they have but not too much.

“Hin really likes polar bears, so I should order him this one?” Dad flashed a picture of Ice Bear and he really looked excited so I just gave him a nod as a seal of approval. “Do you do this every day?” He shook his head. “If I have time, I buy presents for Hin. Sometimes utensils he can use in baking and sometimes cute pastel t-shirts that he can wear.” Dad really loves him. Honestly, I’m jealous. I want someone who can also understand me like how my dads can understand each other, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And even though dad lost his hearing, my other dad never fails to make him feel normal. _Normal._

I remembered what Chimon told me a while ago, that he doesn’t want to know that he is deaf, thus, he doesn’t wear hearing aids. “Dad, if dad didn’t wear his hearing aids, would that be troublesome for him?” Dad stopped looking at Ice Bear stuff toy pictures. “Actually yes, he can be in danger without his hearing aids.” He answered me. “If your dad forgets his hearing aids and went out alone, he might not hear any cars incoming, any people shouting at him to run or to dodge. See there’s a lot of possibilities where he can be in danger.” I sat for a moment. “But Chimon, your student does not wear hearing aids right?” He nods. “It’s true that Chimon can’t hear, but according to his dad, all he can hear is muffled sound, his hearing is also gradually deteriorating.” I lay again on the couch. “Just like dad.” He nodded and continued looking for stuff toys for dad.

“But how come he doesn’t wear hearing aids,” I asked him again. “Apparently Nanon, since he started losing his hearing; he doesn’t want people to know about it. He wanted to fit in still with society.” _Fitting in._ Kind of like us three. We still want to fit in with the society but sometimes there are people who think of us as below normal people, maybe that’s why some people try to fit in, they give in to the standards of the society that they end up changing who they are and they end up completely losing their real selves in the process. _Fitting in._

“Dad, do you think fitting in is good?” He stopped once more. “I think it’s good if your intentions are good, but if you want to fit in just to blend with other people, I think being weird would be more fun than being one with the crowd. You know, stand up and be different.” He winked at me. I guess dad is right. I wanted to fit in when I learned that I have dyslexia but I think my disability is not a hindrance to be different; I just need the right people in my small world to become who I want to become.

After a long day at dad’s office I decided to stroll around the school, I saw Chimon outside waiting for someone or something. I tapped his shoulder to know that I was behind him. “Are you going home?” I signed and he nodded. “Hey about our assignment, how can we talk about that?” I signed it to him again. “I come here all the time, so maybe we could just meet here.” He suggested and I agreed with his plan. “You’re not much of a talker are you?” I faced him so he could read my lips. “Well, I am deaf so that pretty much sums up why I don’t talk a lot.” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice, and I think he knows even though he can’t hear himself.

“Do you know the word monachopsis?” He asked me while he sat along the stairs in front of the building. “No,” I answered him, still facing him, blocking the sun. “It means a subtle yet persistent feeling of being out of place.” He continued. “What do you mean you’re out of place?” He chuckled and stared at my shadow. “Ever since I lost my hearing, I started feeling and even noticing that my friends are avoiding me, labeling me differently.” _That hurt._ “So I wanted to fit in.” _Fit in._ “And when we relocated here, I made sure no one knew that I am deaf.” He looks at me and gave me a faint smile. “I wanted to fit in, Nanon. Is that hard to do?” I gulped after hearing him say that because I felt every word he said. I wanted to fit in, so does he, so why are we both having difficulty fitting in?

“Chimon, all I know is I feel you.” He stood up because his dad is already here to pick him up. “Nanon, no, you don’t.” He tapped my shoulder and waved goodbye. “Tomorrow, be here, 9 AM sharp.” He told me without looking back. _Look back, Chimon, so you know that I understand what you feel, that I don’t pity us for being different._ After talking with Chimon, Dad finally clocked out of work. “Let’s buy some things for the house first, okay?” He then drove the car to the nearest supermarket. As we were buying items I asked something personal to dad. “Dad, do you pity both me and Dad for having our disabilities?” He looked at me like I did something wrong. “No, I don’t pity you. Besides, your dad is very independent, he just needs someone by his side if ever he forgets his hearing aids.” He was smiling while looking at the nutritional facts of the chips he was holding. “And I don’t pity you. You may be different from other people because of your dyslexia, or your dad’s hearing loss, but I never thought both of you as a liability in my life.” He handed me the chips and I put it in the cart. “Besides, I think I learn more every day about your lives than mine. Like how both of you live in a silent world like your dad, and in your case, a spineless book you could never read.” He messed my hair and we headed to the counter.

“Dad, I’ll be going back to your school tomorrow.” He smiled at me while he paid for our groceries. “Chimon asked me to be there tomorrow so we could do our assignment.” He chuckled and grabbed the paper bag and thanked the cashier. “Why are you laughing?” I asked him. “Ok, I promised him not to tell you but I should tell you anyway.” He stopped for a moment and looked at me. “I kind of flashed a picture of you last week, and my students wanted to meet you.” I tilted my head to the side and gave dad a confused look. “Then I kind of told them about your dyslexia.” We hopped in the car and put on our seatbelts. “Then Chimon asked me what did I feel when I knew you had dyslexia.” He started the car engine and we drove home.

“I said, at first I was bummed but I knew I had to do something in order for you not to get left behind. When his parents knew about his hearing loss, his mom left them and his dad thought of him as a liability.” We stopped at an intersection when the traffic light turned red. The streets were busy; you could see employees running around getting on buses and people waiting for taxis. “Chimon told me all of that. When he knew I had a son who has a disability, he immediately asked me for help or any pieces of advice.” I looked out from my window side and saw the sun is about to set. “He wanted to fit in, I guess.” My dad nodded and drove when the traffic light turned green.

“Do you think he’s given up in life, because of his hearing loss?” I asked dad and he was taken aback with what I just asked him. “I don’t think so, whenever I read Chimon’s outputs, it doesn’t translate to giving up in life, and even in class, he is active albeit quiet and reserved.” We turned into a corner and we are almost home. “I still don’t understand him,” I whispered to myself. Dad parked the car in the garage and went inside already. We greeted Dad who was watching the TV. He always put on the subtitles for the TV shows he watches. “Hi, Dad.” I signed and he hugs me back. “How was your dad’s school?” He signed to me while he went to the kitchen. I saw that he was wearing his hearing aids. “It’s fine, I met someone.” My dads looked at me like I said something very exciting. “No, it’s not like that.” They looked at each other and teased me. “He met one of my students.” He winked at dad. “Oh, I get the feeling that this someone is Chimon?” Dad New teased me. “Ugh, I said we’re just friends, besides I just met the guy.” They both drank their water at the same time while looking at me. “That’s what I said when I first dated your father.” Dad Tay then hugged dad behind. _Ugh, get a room, please._

“Anyways, there are going to do their project tomorrow at school, I’ll drop him off then we could go to the bakeshop you wanted to visit.” Dad Tay kissed Dad and he went upstairs to change clothes. Dad New and I were left in the kitchen. “Dad, do you ever miss hearing dad’s voice?” I asked him and he sat beside me. “Yes,” He looked at me. “It hurts not hearing your dad’s voice sometimes. Although he’s the first one I see in the morning, I just wish I could still hear him call me ‘Hin’.” He hugged and I did the same. “Anyways, Dad paired me up with Chimon so we could do the assignment he gave us.” I pouted and went upstairs to change clothes. It’s ironic how I want to read Chimon when I can’t read at all. But I really want to understand where he is coming from. I really feel what he is going through. Fitting in is already hard for normal people like Dad Tay, but people with disabilities have it harder and the stigma surrounding our disabilities makes us insecure and lose confidence in the process of finally finding ourselves.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day came and I saw Chimon waiting for me at the entrance of the school. “Take care, honey. Just call us if you’re done, okay?” Dad New kissed me on the cheeks before they drove off to their date. “Took you long enough.” I scratched my head as I looked at my watch. It was already 9:30 AM. “Sorry, my dad was looking for his hearing aids. He always misplaces it around our house.” I opened the door to the school and we went straight to one of the study areas in the library. “So, what should we do about my dad’s homework?” I told him as I put my bag in one of the chairs, but there was only silence between us. I totally forgot Chimon is deaf. I waved my hand in his face and he looked at me. His narrow eyes and thin lips were the most attractive parts of his face. “Yes?” I snapped once he replied to me. “I mean, what should we do about my dad’s homework?” I signed so he can’t look at my flushed face.

“I’ve already mapped out the things that we should do, but first let us discuss.” He opens his laptop and started showing me an itinerary of the things we will do this day _. “Are you sure we can finish that today?”_ I signed and he just shrugged. “We could always continue it tomorrow.” _Tomorrow._ I forgot, there is still tomorrow. “Sure, we could always continue it tomorrow.” Yes, besides I want to know more about you.

Our plan for today was to get a shot of the street life of our city. I will do the photography and Chimon will write the story. It’s a perfect match if you will ask me. But I can’t help whenever he will ask me about words or sentences. I would only smile at him. But I assured him that I am a great photographer just like my dad. We packed up our bags and decided to roam around the city. “So where do you want to go first?” I asked him. “We could go to that park where they do graffiti arts?” He suggested and I just nodded.

As we were walking, he suddenly grabbed me by the elbow as we cross the street. “What?” He said when I looked at him. “Oh, this? It’s a habit, whenever I am with Dad, I always hold on to him since I can’t hear oncoming cars.” I was confused when he said that. “I know I can see them but I rattle easily.” He then gave me a faint smile that lasted for a few seconds. _God damn it, Chimon._ I gulped as I saw his smile. I kid you not, I’m already sweating and I could feel my face getting hotter by the second and it’s not even Summer here yet. He then let go of me once we crossed the street. I catch my breath for a second and I didn’t realize he was looking at me. “What?” Chimon then booped my cheeks. “Your dimples are quite deep.” I’m literally panicking inside. When Dad New teases Dad Tay, I can see that Dad Tay would panic easily because he is not accustomed to Dad New’s teases. And don’t get me started when Dad New gets lovey-dovey with Dad Tay.

“Oh, yeah.” I forced a laugh so I could hide what I’m truly feeling. It’s very hard talking to Chimon, I wanted to talk to him by signing so he won’t look at my face while reading my mouth. “Here we are.” I signed to him. The park was lively as usual and there were a lot of skateboarders, bikers, and roller-skaters playing around the ramps. I grabbed my camera to start taking pictures but Chimon halted me. “Wait, let’s watch first.” For the first time, I saw him smile longer than a second. Maybe he’s been missing out.

He sat on one of the benches near the skateboard ramp and I bought two iced tea for us to drink. I tapped his shoulder so he could read my mouth. “Do you like these kinds of things?” He nodded. “When I was young, I wanted to try playing skateboard but I usually end up getting wounds and scratches from all of the failed attempts of learning.” He sipped his iced tea. “But I stopped learning. It turns out, skateboarding wasn’t for me.” He chuckles. “So that’s when I discovered writing as a hobby!” He smiles at me then looks at the people playing around the part. “Do you ever miss the sound of the park?” I asked him a personal question. “Yes, I do.” His expression turned sour. “But I don’t want to wear hearing aids. I don’t want to be labeled as different.” He then sipped another drink from his iced tea.

As we watch the skateboarders play along the ramp, we noticed someone with a prosthetic leg. “Oh, let’s go.” Chimon grabbed me by the hand and went to talk to him. “Hi, my name is Chimon and this is Nanon.” He introduced us to him. The skateboarder was a little reluctant to introduce himself. “Hi.” I can hear the subtle unwillingness in his voice. “Uhm, so we have homework in our photojournalism class and we wanted to take pictures that talk about street life.” He then continued, not letting me talk, apparently. “And we want to interview you about street life.” I butted in. “The things is, we also have disabilities, I have dyslexia and my friend here is deaf.” The skateboard then nodded as he realized Chimon was deaf because all along, Chimon was practically screaming at him when he introduced us to him.

“We wanted to show the importance of empowerment to people with disabilities. We wanted to talk about the stigma surrounding our disabilities.” I tried explaining to him and thank God, he agreed. “So what do you want me to do?” He asked us. “Just, do whatever you do and we will capture pictures as you skate.” I smiled and Chimon smiled. “Sounds good.” He then skateboarded away from us. “What did he say?” Chimon looked enthusiastic. “He said that he would do it.” I signed and he gave me a high five.

“Just take pictures of him and also the people in the background. I have a story in my mind.” Chimon’s giddy side is finally showing, and I think I understand him a little bit. And I think, this is what he meant by fitting in. And I don’t mean by finding people with disabilities also, but people who look beyond their disabilities. What he needs is comfort, empowerment, and the right people for him to know that he is more than his hearing loss, that I am more than my dyslexia.

After the photoshoot, they interviewed the skateboarder. The interview went on about only twenty minutes but he said something that had an impact on us. “You are capable of doing great things even if you’re blind; you’re deaf, dyslexic, or even if you lost your legs.” He smiled at us and that left a mark on us. Especially on Chimon, he fell silent after interviewing him. “Are you okay?” I signed to him. “He’s right isn’t he?” He asked me back. “For sure, he is right. We may be different from others but we’re also capable of what they’re doing, just that we have our own limitations.” I smiled at him and he started smiling also.

Chimon wanted to go to the library but I should tell you, they don’t exactly work for me. “No, I just need to borrow something then we can go to I don’t know a music shop perhaps.” He teased himself. “Sure, I need to buy something anyway.” He was searching for something when he found it. It was high along the shelf and I helped him. “Thanks. You’re quite tall, aren’t you.” He commented on my height. “I got it from my dads, so yeah, you’re welcome.” I showed him my dimpled smile. “Don’t ever smile like that please.” He chuckled and went to the librarian’s corner.

After the library, we went to a nearby music shop and I wanted to buy something I can listen to when I’m all alone in my room. “Can you read the album titles or the artists?” He asked me as we enter the shop. “No, but I recognize the artist.” We then walked through the vinyl corner. I saw Chimon looking at vinyl records. “Oh, I know this band.” He grabbed a The Temper Trap vinyl. “Oh do you like that band?” He nodded. “But sadly, I can’t listen to music anymore.” There, there it is again. I can hear his ‘sad voice’ again. “Then you should wear a hearing aid,” I suggested as I scanned for more vinyl records. “I told you, they make me look different.” He rebutted. “But as the skateboarder said, you’re still capable of doing great things.” I smiled and he looked at me, seriously this time. “Are we going to fight with this again?” I fell silent for a moment. “I’m sorry.” He just nodded and continued looking for vinyl records.

“So should I buy this?” I snapped my fingers in front of his face so he could read my lips. “Oh, definitely. The Temper Traps is such an awesome band.” I went to the cashier and paid the vinyl record. “Do you have a recorder that plays vinyl?” He asked me and I nodded. “It was my Dad Tay’s recorder actually, but it’s mine now.” I looked at the paper bag containing the vinyl record I just bought. “So when did you start listening to The Temper Traps?” He asked me. “Just a year ago,” I answered him curtly. He then grabbed my arm again as we crossed the street. As we were walking, I could see him looking at me in my peripheral vision. I can’t blame him though if he hits his head in a lamp post or something. He just reads my lips whenever I talk and I get shy every time he looks at me, especially my lips. “They are one of my favorite bands actually.” Chimon started humming a familiar song. “Is that Love Lost?” I asked him. “Yes! Ugh, how I miss listening to that song.” His arms are still holding my upper arm. I wanted this day to never end, just me and Chimon, in his world of meaningful silence while I am in a chaotic world of messy letters and words. “If there’s a chance, would you want to wear hearing aids?” I asked him again. “Yeah, no doubt, even though I can hear only muffled sounds I always wanted to hear again. But my insecurities won’t let me though.” He let go of his arm as we arrived at the school.

“Thank you for today, I should give you my number but I remembered you have dyslexia.” Wait, he’s offering to give me his number. “Uhm, you can give it to me,” I told him quickly. Grab the chance, Nanon! “Yeah, reading isn’t exactly my thing, I’ll just call---.” I stopped and he chuckled. “It’s okay, but sure, here is my number.” He then told me aloud his number while I typed. He then took my phone and he entered his name. “There, if you want to facetime that would do.” He waved goodbye as his father picked him up. I can sense that the giddy Chimon during our stroll in the city suddenly vanished when he saw his father. I remembered when my dad told me that he thinks of his son as a liability because of his hearing loss and hearing that from your own father hurts.

After an hour at dad’s school, they picked me up. “I’m sorry, Nanon. Your dad wanted to stay at the bakeshop a little longer.” Dad Tay protested as Dad New gave me a hug. “Well, I wanted to try their afternoon pastries.” He pouted. “So how’s your date with Chimon.” Dad New teased me while I buckled my seatbelt. “It’s not a date, dad.” Thankfully, he’s wearing his hearing aids. “Don’t lie to me, young man.” Dad Tay laughed. “We went to the park and took pictures of street life there.” Dad Tay nodded as he remembered the assignment he gave to us. “So are you both done with it?” He asked me as he started the engine. “Not yet, but we will meet again tomorrow to write about the story.” Dad New looked at me at the backseat. “But, honey, words aren’t your friends.” He sounded worried. “It’s okay, I think Chimon and I complement each other, I will edit the pictures and he’ll write the words.” I regretted when I said we complemented each other because they are now teasing me.

“Ugh, I hate both of you.” Dad New then looked straight ahead. “There’s a cake in the second paper bag near you. Eat that when we get home.” He told me as he held Dad Tay’s hand. “Excuse, dad is driving, don’t flirt while I’m here.” I mocked them and they teased me for being jealous. “Why not date Chimon?” Dad Tay joked. “Oh God, I barely know the guy, besides I’m still getting to know him.” I looked out in the window and saw an orange blanket sky above. The birds’ silhouettes were outstanding; the cotton candy clouds were soft and bouncy. I remembered what the skateboarder told us, that we are capable of doing something good. And I started wondering, that if the sky is our limit, we are also capable of doing things that the sky could do. Like my Dad New, he never thought of his hearing loss as a hindrance but instead, he kept on going, he kept on living for the people he loves. He accepted the flaws that no one could ever use it against him anymore. And I want that for myself, and for Chimon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little favor from the author: Ready the song Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap on your phone or even on your laptop, and when you see the asterisk mark (*), play the song. If it ends, just play it again until you finish the story. Thank You!! :))

I met with Jane and Ohm first thing in the morning before heading on to meet Chimon. “So why are we here?” Ohm asked me while playing on his phone. “I thought you might want to meet someone,” I told him not looking at him. I was so anxious that Chimon might fight it weird that I am introducing him to my friends. “Why are you pacing back and forth?” Jane was so done with my behavior. It was just 8 AM in the morning and I’m getting on her nerves. “I am nervous.” I paused. “I mean, I want you guys to meet him. He’s also like us, struggling to fit in with society.” Ohm suddenly stops playing and looks at me.

I turned around and saw Chimon standing there. Thank God, he didn’t hear me. “Oh hi, you’re early today?” I asked him awkwardly and I could hear Jane groan behind my back. “Hi, I am Jane and that is Ohm.” She giddily introduced himself to Chimon. “And I am Chimon.” Surprisingly, he offered a handshake to Jane and Ohm. After their introduction, we went inside the school so we could do our task. “Why are you still here?” I asked the two and they gave me a glaring look. “You invited us here, so we might as well stay with you guys.” Jane retaliated while raising her right eyebrow and Chimon laughed. “What’s so funny?” I smiled at him. “Nothing. It’s just that it’s my first time to see someone fight you back.” Jane then sat beside him. “Oh, don’t mind him, he may be smart but when it comes to love he’s stupid.” Chimon quickly turned to me, as if he is asking me if I like him or not. “Oh no, don’t listen to her.” I facepalmed myself. Chimon is deaf and I just said ‘don’t listen to her’. “I mean, don’t mind her, let’s just finish the task so we could have fun with the four of us.

“Oh, we could go to the Humbo-Jumbo Arcade after this,” Ohm suggested but Jane groaned once again. “Ugh, boys will be boys.” She looked at her nails and started rummaging her purse for some nail polish. “Okay, I’ll come with you guys, but I will be at the karaoke booth singing to songs I know.” She then opened the nail polish and started tending to her nails while Ohm placed his feet atop of the table. “I’m sorry about those two, they don’t hold back really.” I turned to Chimon so he could read my lips. And there, yet again, those eyes that glimmer when he’s looking at my lips as if begging me to kiss him. But I snapped out from my daydreaming and helped him write the story.

“I’m sorry if I could not help in writing.” I signed while he wrote something on a paper then erased it. “It’s okay. Just stay here for a while so I could ask you anytime if I wanted to.” _Stay._ He wanted me to stay beside him but for help. My heart panged just a little but there’s a little hope lurking around when he said stay. Yes, I admit. I like Chimon, but it’s too early for me to tell if I really like him or not. Here I am again, overthinking about my feelings about a boy I just met days ago. But isn’t it normal to feel like this, love? Those love at first scenes in the movies, those subtle serendipities that happen at the break of dawn, those delicate stares, and smiles that happen during the rain, I want that. And I want that with him.

“Nanon?” Chimon snapped his fingers in front of me. “He’s daydreaming about food, don’t mind him.” Ohm laughed when Jane teased me. “I am not.” I turned to Chimon who is chuckling. “I am not, seriously.” He then stopped laughing and looked at me. “When you interviewed the skateboarder did he tell you something more about his capabilities as a person with a disability?” He asked me point blank and I thought hard to remember what he said. “Yes, he said that he does not see his disability as a hindrance to move on.” I paused for a moment and looked at him. “He doesn’t believe in resiliency to be honest, because when people use resiliency as a form of praise, the word gets stained. And something he said that I almost forgot to tell you.” I once again paused for a brief moment, savoring the warmth coming from the rising sun and the quietness of the room. “He said that we should be with people who bring out the best of us.” I looked at Jane and Ohm who smiled at me. “Not with people who bring the stress out of us.” I then gave Chimon a huge smile showing him my dimples. “That is why he found his people at the park and that is why he can show his true capabilities without people judging him or questioning him.” As soon as I finished talking, Chimon sighed and continues writing.

“Thank you.” He said under his breath. It was faint, but I could hear what he has said. “You’re always welcome,” I whispered to myself, hoping he doesn’t hear my voice breaking. Jane and Ohm know that I am a sentimental person, that I care about people a lot, and it’s not new to them that I feel attached right away with Chimon. They will not judge me if I fall in love easily with someone who I can connect with but they instead support me and they will give me pieces of advice, that’s why I love them both. But sometimes I hate them, I turned to their direction and Ohm fake vomited while Jane looked disgusted and I gave them the middle finger but they just laughed.

It was already noon when Chimon finished writing the story and we headed to the mall to eat lunch. As usual, I had to explain to Jane and Ohm why Chimon is holding on to my arm. “Since he can’t hear, he needs to hold on to me while walking the street.” They nod but I can see in their faces that they are teasing me. “I hate you, guys.” Jane laughed and they head on first to the mall. “Will it be okay for your dad for you to come here?” I asked him. “It’s okay.” He replied. “It’s a way to relax from all of the stress from home.” I was so curious about what’s happening in his home. “Are you okay at home?” I asked him straight away, no turning back. “I would like it if I say I’m okay. But no, Nanon, everything at home sucks.” He let go of his arm as we enter the mall. “But I’m getting through it every day, I’m doing my best in school and if could graduate high school on time, I’ll move one to where my aunt is and start living independently.” Him, alone? Will he be okay? “Will you be okay alone?” I asked him anyway.

“Nanon, just because I’m deaf doesn’t mean I need to be dependent on others. “ His voice rose. “No, what I mean is how can you survive alone when you don’t want to even wear hearing aids?” I was looking at him so he could read my lips. We exited the mall’s premises and headed at the back of the mall so no one could see us arguing. “What are you trying to say? That I need to wear those things to help me? Hell no.” He threw his hands on the air. “You’re so stubborn, Chimon. I’m only trying to help.” I told him calmly. “Well, Nanon, news flash, our homework is done and I don’t need your help.” I can see he’s now teary-eyed. “And besides, I’ve been telling you since then that I want to fit in!” He shouted at me and my phone rang. It was Jane calling me but I declined the call. “But you don’t have to be this stubborn to fit in if you don’t wear one you might get into an accident!” I tried reasoning to him; I just want him to be safe. I don’t care if he hates me after this; I just want him to at least listen to me. “I know fitting in is hard with kids like us. I’ve been fitting myself in with the cool kids when I was in middle school but I always end up getting bullied because of my dyslexia, not until I met Jane and Ohm.” My eyes were already swelling in tears but Chimon walks away.

I followed him and I saw Jane and Ohm at the entrance of the mall and they followed me. I tried stopping him but he’s stubborn as always. He was about to cross the street when a car speeds by and as a deaf person, Chimon can’t hear the car. And the next thing I knew, I was already rolling on the ground.

I woke up in a hospital one day and saw my dads sleeping on the hospital couch. “Dad?” I groaned as I touched my head. It pains and there’s a bandage on my forehead. “Dad?” I called them once again and Dad New woke up. He stood so fast and went near me. “Nanon?” Dad New was crying as he cried on my chest. “I thought we lost you.” He signed to me and Dad Tay woke up next. “Oh, God. You’re awake.” Dad Tay hugged me cried just like Dad New. “Wait, I’ll call the nurse.” Dad Tay went out to call the nurse and physician in charge. “What happened?” I asked Dad, thankfully he was wearing his hearing aids. “You were hit by a car last week.” Last week? I’ve been unconscious for a week already? “When Chimon crossed the street you jumped in and pushed him away. Luckily, Jane, Ohm, and Chimon called an ambulance right away and the hospital called us.” Dad New cried like there’s no tomorrow. Dad Tay and the people he called came into my room and the doctor assessed me. “You’re a lucky young man.” The doctor then closed his penlight. “Later this day, we will do another CT scan for any internal bleeding in his brain, for now, let him rest.” The doctor told my parents about the precautions they must observe as I stay here in the hospital.

“How about school dad?” I asked them. “I called your school already and they know about this, your teachers will send you modules and homework once you get discharged from the hospital.” Dad New replied to me while pouring a glass of water for me. “How about yours, dad?” I asked Dad Tay who sat near my hospital bed. “I asked for an emergency leave to take care of you.” He brushed my hair to the side. “I saw your work with Chimon, and to be really honest, that’s the best one Chimon has made. But I want to ask you what happened that day with your friends.” He asked me straight to the point. I sat while they help me get comfortable.

“Dads, I hope you won’t get mad at me.” I started. “I fought with Chimon that day that I wanted to tell him that it’s hard fitting in if we can’t even accept ourselves.” I deeply sighed and Dad New offered another glass of water. “I told him he was stubborn, and I remembered what Dad Tay told me when you almost got hit by the hanging frame at the museum.” I looked at Dad New for a moment. “And I don’t want that to happen to Chimon. And for someone I just met days prior to my accident, I have never felt that connection before.” I drank the glass of water and set it on the table beside the bed. “I never told him I like hi, that I admire his stubbornness sometimes but, that’s his fatal flaw.” I was already teary-eyed. “And when I saw him running across the street not looking at the direction of the cars, I just knew, at that moment I needed to save him, for him to fulfill his desire and dream of fitting in.” Dad Tay began crying and so as Dad New.

“I knew you were brave but please don’t be reckless Nanon.” Dad New warned me. “I know, but you guys thought me to save people I love the most, and even if it cost me my life I wouldn’t regret doing it.” Dad New shook his head. “Don’t say that please.” He told me while hugging me. “I know Dad, I’m sorry.” He broke the hug and looked at me. “And we’re not mad that you saved him, and we’re glad that you survived. To be honest, I may seem very brave in front of both of you, but I don’t have the courage you two have.” Dad Tay began crying again. “I’m always scared of the future and what it holds for the three of us.” He wiped his tears and stood. “So I really admire both of you. So if you think I’m brave, son, think again, you’re braver than your old man.” Dad Tay approached Dad New and hugged him then hugged me.

The door opened and Jane and Ohm came in and my parents went out to get some food and medicine. “You dummy!” Jane was teary-eyed when she saw me awake. “I thought you’re going to die after we saw you got hit by the car.” She then pouted and turned her back to wipe her tears. “If you ever die, we will never forgive you.” Although Ohm seemed like tough, he’s a cookie inside and he started crying as well. “I don’t want to get stuck with Jane!” Ohm then approached me for a hug. “How dare you!” Jane groaned as she cried while drying her eyes. “I hope you’re doing fine, Nanon.” Jane sat on the couch. “I hope so too, but the doctor said that I need a CT scan later and they’ll check if I still have internal bleeding.” Ohm’s eyes widened when heard that. He’s not a fan of blood, to be honest. “And what if they found one, what will they do?” Jane asked me. “I don’t know but I think I have to undergo surgery.” Ohm covered his mouth. “Stop that, you’re overreacting, Ohm. Nanon doesn’t need the surgery, and I hope they won’t find any internal bleeding.” Jane lowered her head and I felt that she was disappointed with their selves. “I’m sorry if we weren’t able to help that time, we just called an ambulance after we saw you bleeding on the street.” She then looked up to me.

“Here, it’s a voice message from Chimon, he wanted to write a letter but he realized we’re all dyslexic here.” Jane gave me a voice recorder from Chimon. “We need to go back to school, we’ll visit you this afternoon okay?” Jane and Ohm hugged me and they went back to school. The room was silent. I can only hear the ticking of the clock above me. The aircon is buzzing on one side of the room and the birds chirping as they fly pass by my room. I can’t get myself to press play on the recorder. What if Chimon tells me something I don’t want to hear, some words that will eventually hurt me. It’s funny that words and I are enemies up to this point. Your words, Chimon, are my kryptonite. It’s my weakness, the Achilles’ heel, and waterloo of my existence. I pressed play on the recorder. And it’s Chimon’s voice I’m hearing.

***** “Hello, Nanon. I figured that I should record what I want to say instead of writing it.” He paused and I can hear the background noise, and I think he’s in his room. “I’m not much of a talker just like you said.” He chuckled. “But I will try my best telling you about what I really feel.” Oh, god. Here goes nothing. “Thank you for saving my life that day. But I’m sorry this happened to you.” I know he can’t hear his own voice but I can hear it breaking. “I’m sorry I fought with you that day. If only I was not stubborn just like what you have said, then maybe we’re still hanging out.” He paused. “Jane and Ohm took me at the Humbo-Jumbo Arcade the other day, they said that it was your safe space from all the stress, the pain and burdens you feel every day because of your dyslexia.” He sniffed. “And I felt free playing there. But at the same time, I felt sad knowing that you’re still unconscious in your hospital bed.” There was a long pause.

“I like you, Nanon.” I was surprised when I heard what he said. “And every day, I wonder what it’s like to have someone fall for you. And I mean really in love.” His voice was still breaking. “I like you not because you have a pretty face that I always look at whenever I read your lips but because I was consumed with every little thing and piece of you.” He chuckled. “This is cheesy and corny but, the way you talk, the way you laugh, and the way you told me to exist and to accept my flaws; I think I’m lucky enough that your dad paired you up with me.” He laughed again. I can hear him say ‘Oh, god, this is embarrassing’. And I’m here in my bed laughing. “I met up with your dad at school the other day and I was asking for his forgiveness and he hugged me, and I never felt so happy and sad at the same time. You are lucky Nanon to have a father like him.” He started crying again. “He said to me that this may be a sad chapter of my life, and he told me that I am not a sad story.” I can hear him blowing his nose in the background. “My father doesn’t talk to me like how your father talked to me.” There was a slight pause. “Nanon, you gave me so many new reasons to write again, and I thank you for that.” I paused the voice recording to catch my breath, I, too, was crying. “Chimon, you know that I’m always here for you, through good times and bad times, even if I’m the one falling apart.” I then pressed play again.

“I still remembered what the skateboarder told us that day, that we are capable of doing things even if we have limitations in our bodies.” I reminisced for a second and thought of that day. “And every day I think of my capabilities if I am wearing hearing aids, and you’re right Nanon, you’re always right. I can do so much better with hearing aids.” I was confused when he told me about that part. Is he finally getting hearing aids? I sat at the edge of my bed and continued listening to the recording. “When you got into the accident last week, every day I thought of hating you because you risked your life for me, but I always hated myself because of how I acted towards you when all I did was to shut out every suggestion you told me.” He sighed. “And I just hoped I listened to you.” He started crying again. I composed myself not to cry, holding back my tears while I clench the recorder in my hand. “I just hope you’re awake now, and I hope you’re okay. Goodbye.” _Goodbye?_ The voice recorder stopped and that was his last message. _Goodbye?_ Is he for real, after all the thing he has said to me, he had the audacity to say goodbye?

The door opened and my dads came in. As I looked towards their direction, they came in with Chimon! “Chimon?” He broke down after I called his name. “Why are you crying?” My dads left us for a while and I noticed he was wearing hearing aids. “I never knew your voice could feel that way.” He is covering his face while crying. “I wanted to at least hear you say my name again, I wanted to hear you shout at me for being stubborn.” He hiccupped. “I wanted to hear your voice, Nanon. I don’t want to fit in anymore.” He walked towards me. “I want to find my own people so that I could be the best version of myself.” He held my hands as he cried. “For what it’s worth, Chimon; it’s never too late to be whoever we want to be in life. I just hope we could live a life we’re proud of.” Chimon nodded. “And if we find that we’re not proud of what we are, I just hope we have the strength and bravery to start over again.” Chimon then hugged me right then and there.

I broke the hugged first because I was waiting to ask him one question. “Wait, how did you know that I like you?” Chimon smiled and he looks pretty with his hearing aids on. “There were some subtle signs, but even though I can’t hear you I feel that you like me.” Chimon teased me. “Like what?” I asked him once again, and he sat beside me. “When your words fail, Nanon, sometimes your eyes speak for yourself.” He looked at me, eye to eye. Not looking at my lips anymore, right then and there, I kissed the lips of the person I love. “I love you, Chimon,” I told him as the sun shines inside the room. “I love you too, Nanon.”

Fortunately, the doctors did not see any internal bleeding inside my skull and I was free to go home. Dad Tay talked to Chimon’s dad about his environment at home and they called Chimon’s aunt to become his legal guardian. He is still continuing his education at my dad’s school and is now the Editor-in-Chief of the school newspaper. Every day after our classes, Jane, Ohm, and I would meet Chimon at their school and we would go to the arcade to play. Chimon finally found his people and he’s been happy ever since. “I’m glad you found me, Nanon.” He kissed me on the cheeks and I showed him my dimples. “Well, what is done with love is done very well.” Jane and Ohm heard us and they both teased us.

Our disabilities don’t make us less of a person. They make us unique and different from other people, unique in a way that we can be more than our disabilities. We could show to them that we are more than capable of what other people can do. Fuck resilience. It’s already a word misused by most of the people! And if you need to find your own people, do it. You will find your home, you will find your place, and you will find us. Give it a little time, pal. It will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Again, thank you for reading When Words Fail, Your Eyes Speak. For those who are new here, you can read my other works; Some Dawns I Feel Like Smoking, Every Day Your Face Becomes New and The Pillars of Malekith and The Fallout of Ishiyawa. I will also be publishing a TayNew Alternate Universe entitled "When Flowers Bloom on Saturdays". Again, feel free to comment and message me on twitter about my works. I want to improve on my writing skill, so if you have any suggestions or any constructive criticisms about this story and my previous works, please tell me. And thank you for your kudos! 
> 
> Follow me on twitter: @taynewfever


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